hey guys... ok.. i have to say, im very sorry for ranting latly.. i dont know why, but i have been on edge ALOT latly.. and ya.. alot of stuff has been going on, and yet more shit gets dumped onto my mind, and im having a hard time trying to get off.. more like im running away from it while it piggie-backs me.

im entering grade 12, i ahve no ay to get scholasrships because i suck at eevrything, no good cllages near by, and no money. next step? move to florida to be with my boyfreind. and yes, i have known him for a long time. ive been told, and ive even looked, theres alot of good schools there. but guess wat. you need money to move.. URK!!

so, i thought i had a job, working in 3 diffrent parts of the beuilding.. only to find out i got fired because i dont have my first aid or foodsafe. well they cant just think that someone my age who puts up with so much shit, would know cpr and shit. so lets ding her for that. then, even tho she works on the till, shes got to have food safe. well, that pissed me off. theres 200-300 dollars cheks every 2 weeks gone POOF.. Cons: no money Pros: dont have to be around my asshole ex, dont have to be around his asshole mother, im not on my feet for 16 and half hours 21 hours a day every day, WITH NO BREAK!!!!!, dont have to be stressed out, can do well in school, more sleep... etc etc etc it goes on. so we know who wins this battle huh!!!

so whats next? did you say get a new job? WELL HERES A MILLION HIGH FIVES FOR YOU!!!! ive got a few small places in mind thats in town here, alot closer then my old job. only problem is i dotn have a ride. who cares? ill walk for 2 hours tog et home, so i can drop weight. cuz damn, i feel fat latly. ill most likly apply at the cheese factory.. since they seem more likly to hire me. so theres that taken care of.

what else could go wrong you ask? alot. ooooo so much. for 4 days out of the 5 my brother was gone at camp, i ate ad ate and ate. i had an appitite!!! the day he comes home, i stopped eating all togther.. yesterday was day 2 of no food, just drink. because he stresses me out. and guess wat people.. theres nothing i can do.

also, i have been crying at the drop of a hat for 6 days straight.. and its pissing me off.. like one wrong word and i start crying... does this show how stressed out i am? o ya, the jealousy thing is bugging me too.. but i dunno if ill bother writing about it.. if you ask.. ya ill tell you.. not that any of you really read journals anyway

so ya. thers more on my mind, but im to tired to type anymore.. i wont be surprised if you all dont read this.. im not very popular on here anyway so wat the crap... just helps to get it off my head... cya...